Britain has a grumpy old man problem — I know why they’re angry

Puzzles Challenge yourself with today's puzzles. Astonishing crime figures published yesterday chart the rise of a little-known threat to life and limb: middle-aged, even elderly men, or so-called Grumps. “Grievance-ridden urban midlife perpetrators”, men aged 35-64, are more likely to be suspected of violent crime, the police say, than younger men. As for the over-65s, fully 33,265 of them were questioned on suspicion of criminal aggression in 2025, a 12 per cent increase on the year before. All those old fellas having punch-ups? It’s extraordinary. And yet not shocking, now I think about it. So far this year I’ve witnessed several scary altercations involving men old enough to know better. Motorists screaming at each other, cyclists and pedestrians. Other motorists, cyclists and pedestrians screaming back. A man in his fifties, face suffused with rage, berating a bus full of commuters. Another man in his late forties stalking through the park shouting, “I stab you up!” to all and sundry. Another middle-aged man, well dressed, hurling abuse at a young female assistant through the plastic shield of a Sainsbury’s counter. Actual physical violence felt likely, even imminent, in all these encounters. Most commented 1 Russian strikes ‘leave half a million Ukrainian homes without power’ Russia-Ukraine war 385 comments 2 Third of investors ready to stop UK spending after budget Politics 192 comments 3 ‘We’re 34 — we can’t wait to start being landlords’ Property & Home 75 comments 4 Douglas Dunn obituary: Scottish poet and academic Obituaries 24 comments 5 The beauty expert’s all-time favourite hair products Beauty 18 comments Why are supposedly mature men so angry, out of all proportion to the slight or threat, real or imagined, they perceive? If a pedestrian nearly but doesn’t actually brush against a Vauxhall Corsa on a busy street, why does that merit a foul-mouthed tirade from the driver? He’s not a wired-up teenage joyrider, he’s a middle-aged man in a suit. What’s going on? Young men get a bad rap, but the fact is much online nastiness, football-related aggro, attacks on minorities and misogynist horror are often instigated not by tearaway youths but furious 50-year-olds. My guide to small talk for boring, grumpy old blokes We’ve read a lot about the pernicious influence of porn and social media, and yes, of course those twin online blights are helping to fuel all this seething frustration. But let’s park the gruesome twosome for a day and examine other possible explanations that don’t receive so much attention. Advertisement First, about 28 per cent of men aged 50-64 are single. Thirty years ago it was about 8 per cent. If you accept, as I do, that women civilise men, a great many middle-aged men now live unconstrained by the caution and common sense of a female partner. Top stories 1 Clodagh McKenna: I always get up at 6am on holiday. I love the calm Inspiration 2 16 of the best safaris in Africa Africa 3 13 of the best affordable hotels in New York New York City 4 The Marylebone pop-up for Christmas-maxxers LUXX 5 The best luxury gifts for Christmas 2026 LUXX Top stories 1 Caitlin Moran: People hate me, my hair, my face, my feminism Life 2 The ten companies fund managers think will make them billions Saving & Investing 3 ‘Mum is dating a fraudster. What can I do?’ Family Finances 4 Prepare now for the inheritance tax mess coming for your pension Tax Second, the use of cocaine and steroids has risen sharply in recent years, and the biggest spike in users of both is men aged 45-54. Those substances are liable to lead to, at best, irritability, anxiety and mood swings, and at worst paranoia, aggression and violence, the more so when combined with alcohol. As is well known, middle-aged men drink far more than youngsters. Read more by Robert Crampton Tobey Maguire has officiated at his ex-wife’s wedding. I don’t get it My wife is hot, and she knows I am (but not in the same way) Why do we need a new Bond? We already have Jason Statham Third, while the overall number of Brits having a bet is in decline from the lottery’s heyday 25 years ago, the total amount staked, and the number of gamblers perceived as having a problem, is going up. The casual, occasional in-person flutter is dying out. The online, in-game, money-you-don’t-have punt is booming, especially among, you guessed it, men aged 55-64, more than half of whom gamble at least once a month. Inevitably some of them will be in serious debt, the stress of which manifests as anger. Fourth, while the “end of deference” over the past half-century usually refers to social class, it can be applied to gender. Most young men, I hope and trust, no longer expect respect from women by virtue of being male. Many older men, I’m afraid, maybe because they grew up with their dad automatically being top dog, have not yet realised that simply having a penis doesn’t put us in charge. The world ain’t like that any more, guys! You can be as resentful as you like about the loss of this totally unearned status, but it isn’t coming back, so deal with it. Last, the boring explanation, but probably the most pervasive. Real wages have not risen in the UK since the global financial crisis of 2008. For many 40-year-olds that’s the entire time they’ve been in the workforce. Many men at the midpoint of their career are not getting the economic rewards they might have assumed, growing up during a long boom, they ought to be getting by now. They’re stuck, they’re skint… and they’re starting to lose the plot. Advertisement Grumpy old men? No, disgust is just a defence mechanism Celebrate democracy — but not with fireworks What’s your favourite piece of largely unheralded yet very welcome government legislation? I don’t mean the big headline-grabbing social shift statutes such as the Marriage (Same Sex Couples) Act 2013 or the Murder (Abolition of Death Penalty) Act 1965. Civilising and celebrated, those bad boys rightly get plenty of kudos already. I mean the lesser changes for the better that we take for granted. I’m a fan of all the incremental improvements to health and safety at work, for instance. Better a bit more red tape than the grim toll taken by industrial accidents a generation or two ago. At this time of year, however, I always say a little prayer of gratitude for the Fireworks Act 2003, not forgetting the subsequent clarifying Fireworks Regulations of 2004. These measures imposed curfews and limits of firework usage, and made it an offence for those under 18 to possess fireworks in a public place. And richly improved my quality of life in the process. I live on a park. My son suffers acute sensitivity to sudden loud noises. Before 2003 our neighbourhood sounded like a war zone from late September to early November. Until the age of six my son had to wear a hat with ear flaps to bed. Some kids, drunk on explosive power, once started firing rockets at our front door. The cats went ballistic. I was targeted (inaccurately) a few times coming home on my bike. It was a frightening, anarchic time of year. Loads of people protested to their MPs, parliament stepped up, and now the disturbance is limited to a few nights between Halloween and Bonfire Night. Let’s hear it for living in a democracy.