Andy Burnham gives Gogglebox viewers his Marmite manifesto

“In Downing Streeeeeeet….” says the unmistakable voice of Craig Cash or, to use his real name, Dave from The Royle Family . The camera points to the world’s most famous front door and what happens next makes no sense. We’ve not yet been treated to any video footage of the prime minister’s turn on Celebrity Gogglebox . For that, we must wait until Friday night. But the roughly ten seconds of audio released so far is in breach of what counts as a clear manifesto commitment. Most commented 1 Where’s Marie Curie? GCSE science ‘fails to credit women’ Science 228 comments 2 US withdraws diplomats from Saudi Arabia amid deadly Houthi attacks US news 198 comments 3 MI5 spied on NHS founder Nye Bevan for decades History 86 comments 4 Alan Thornett obituary: union leader nicknamed ‘the Mole’ Obituaries 94 comments 5 Times letters: Failure to protect the elderly in care homes Letters to the Editor 60 comments Some of us were there, on the streets of Makerfield, when Andy Burnham promised his now Brexit-venerating constituents that “the last thing we should do right now is rerun those arguments”, the ones he is now very much rerunning . Politics newsletter Get our daily insider’s guide to Westminster, plus a rundown of PMQs every Wednesday. Sign up with one click You’ve successfully signed up to the Politics newsletter Explore our newsletters An error occurred. Please use the link below. Politics newsletter Explore our newsletters His other big promise, back then, was that he was so pure in northern blood that he couldn’t possibly live in 10 Downing Street, or even in London at all. Well, unless some outrageous act of artifice is going on, not only is he living there but he’s shacked up with his mate Steve Rotheram , the Liverpool city mayor. The two of them are living like some sort of modern day Eric Morecambe and Ernie Wise, a bombshell that Channel 4 is braced to exclusively reveal. Top stories 1 Tripsnacking? Finally a travel trend I can get on board with Advice Andy and Steve are the star turn on Channel 4 ’s Stand Up To Cancer special, a fact that “sources close” to Kemi Badenoch are said to be furious about. Channel 4 is a public broadcaster, and her not being invited apparently renders it somehow in breach of its Ofcom commitment to impartiality. Advertisement We can only hope that actual Kemi Badenoch, as opposed to “sources close”, has noticed that it’s probably not a good idea to kick off about a charity fundraiser for cancer. She may also have noticed that back in the day, when Tony Blair used to pitch up on Comic Relief, it wasn’t considered necessary for Catherine Tate to also record a skit with Iain Duncan Smith. Looking back, that’s a real shame. Andy Burnham’s approval rating: the latest polls We don’t yet know on what TV output Burnham and Rotheram will be required to pass comment. All we know is that there is yet another extensive discussion of the prime minister’s favourite crisps. “I’ve got Skips,” says the most powerful man in the country. “Quavers? Pork scratchings? Twiglets are probably the best aren’t they?” Top stories 1 High street banks are on borrowed time Saving & Investing 2 Belgium’s most stylish autumn weekend break — and it’s not Bruges Belgium Having watched many, many episodes of Gogglebox , I’ve always understood the format to be a discussion of what’s on the telly, as opposed to the contributors’ favourite snacks, which in this particular example has been exhaustively covered many times before. We do not yet know the context, so it may well be that the prime minister is having to react to one of the already countless hours of video available online of him talking about his preferred crisps to absolutely anyone who will listen. Eventually, we must hope, we will cut to Denise van Outen, and Spandau Ballet and son, as they all become mildly irate at having to watch footage of Andy Burnham talking, once again, about pork scratchings. Advertisement I know we shouldn’t take this stuff seriously but it’s contagious. Last week, in the back of a tuk-tuk on TikTok in Bangkok (I know, it’s confusing), Ed Miliband and John Healey found themselves discussing their favourite pub snacks once again. I fear that we, as a nation are being snack-lit, psychologically and systematically worn down until we come to believe we’re not capable of thinking about or talking about or caring about anything at all, apart from crisps. Does Andy Burnham tire of putting his foot in his mouth? Don’t ask him Look, I accept it’s possible to overanalyse a ten-second audio clip of Andy Burnham listing various crisp and crisp adjacent products once again, but it is perhaps worth noting that Twiglet supremacy is an intriguing new addition to the already substantial canon on this subject. Twiglets, with their yeast extract seasoning, have an identical flavour profile to Marmite, a foodstuff which famously divides opinion. What can you say? I guess you either love listening to Andy Burnham talking incessantly about crisps, or maybe you hate it.