Andy Burnham’s cry for help at PMQs

The first question at PMQs was something which may not go away: Andy Burnham’s engagement with Manchester City – now firmly on the footballing naughty step – during his time as Mayor of Manchester. Fellow Mancunian Lucy Powell scowled ominously, like a rejected prototype of the Chucky Doll, as it was implied that the New Jerusalem might not have been as squeaky-clean as its MPs have been trying to suggest. Louise Haigh did a kind of panto grimace at any who dared question Burnham. Emily Thornberry squatted and heckled insufferably throughout, bellowing the words ‘donations’ and ‘Russian money’ in the manner of a seagull In his answer, the Prime Minister insisted that nobody from the club had raised any legal problems with him. More digging is being done – let’s see if this proves to be a slip-up. Kemi Badenoch decided to bring up some of the other thorns in Mr Burnham’s side, quoting the response of the Director General of MI5 to his enduringly embarrassing remarks on Brexit and Russia back at him. Mr Burnham didn’t quite take the opportunity to backtrack fully, instead choosing to point out that Mrs Badenoch herself had once stood at the dispatch box and claimed that she hadn’t read a relevant report on Russia. Behind him Dame Emily Thornberry squatted and heckled insufferably throughout, bellowing the words ‘donations’ and ‘Russian money’ in the manner of a seagull, unused to want, and squawking for more dropped chips. Mr Burnham reiterated his claims that he wanted to end division, but it was hardly a picture of national unity. Increasingly, the Prime Minister’s twee protestations of togetherness and “repairing bridges” are being deployed instead of actually answering the question put to him. For how much longer this will stay on the acceptable side of folksy, rather than becoming intensely irritating, remains to be seen. Most popular John Power Is the Traitors racist? Andrew Watts Was I dumped for being a Zionist? Joanna Williams The BBC is not censoring Strictly Come Dancing Next Mrs Badenoch brought up energy and welfare, pointing out that essentially Mr Burnham’s worst enemies aren’t the Russians or even the wicked Tory governments of yore but his own backbenchers who got the taste for humiliating Sir Keir and are quite willing to do the same to their own personal Lowry stick-figure if required. Mrs Badenoch asked straightforwardly: was he scared of his own backbenchers? In lieu of an answer on the eternal ulcer of benefits, Mr Burnham did his usual spiel about mental health provision. I increasingly think this might be a cry for help; after all, we already give people who are sad free cars so I’m not sure how much more comprehensive mental health provision can get. Maybe this is Mr Burnham’s way of asking for help for himself? Andy: just blink those big eyelashes twice if the nasty lunatics behind you are forcing you to bankrupt the country. Mrs Badenoch’s questions ended with some defence-themed badinage. Mr Burnham did get some laughs for raising the Tory confusion over their ‘iron dome’ policy and Mrs Badenoch’s cock-up in a recent LBC interview with Nick Ferrari. Rather than get frustrated as she might have done in the past, she fired back by asking whether his ‘problem solving, not point scoring’ line was another one that he said but didn’t really mean. Miaows abounded. Sir Ed Davey drew perhaps his biggest cheer ever as he stood up – none of which came from his own MPs but from the Tory benches, delighted that he would not after all be facing a leadership challenge. As ever the real joy came from the backbenches, examples of ever-dimming lights in the Mother of Parliaments’ crepuscular years. MPs declaimed their questions about playing fields and school sports days, mostly off sheets. One Labour backbencher ranted about shutters.