Liz Truss' 100 page book shows her knack for being terrible for a very short time

The title of Lettuce dodging Liz Truss's new book, Bank Job, sounds more like a rude act committed on a card machine than a political exposé. Given it took £8.99 of my hard-earned cash and left me feeling somewhat violated after reading, I reckon it's pretty fitting. And at just 100 pages long, it again shows our former Lettuce-in-Chief's knack for being terrible at something for a very short time. It's a bizarre, disorganised mess of half-baked rants blaming anyone for her catastrophic 49 days in power - except, of course, herself.

From "lazy and credulous media" to "Tory traitors" and the timing of the Queen's death, nobody is safe. Her directionless and often repeated ramblings read more like those of a gobby drunk than those of a former head of state. The book's main claim is she was the victim of a political "assassination" by the deep-state, and if her economy-crashing mini-budget was implemented, the UK would be in a golden age. And she somehow managed to write the entire book about her downfall without mentioning the Daily Star's world famous lettuce that outlasted her spell in No10.

There's not a single nod to trusty 60p iceberg outlasted the Tory leader after we challenged it to survive longer than her premiership. She seems more intent on settling old scores, pointing the finger at the Bank of England, civil servants, journalists and even fellow Tories. It's nonsense and deranged, but she does paint a mildly interesting picture of 2040 Britain if she was in No10. From trips to Mars and victorious trade wars with French farmers, to Mablethorpe, Lincs, becoming a powerhouse popular with trendsetters, the vision of Truss-topia is a bonkers end to a bonkers book that poses one question: How on Earth did Truss become PM?

Conspiracy nut Liz, who insists she was the victim of mysterious, powerful, shady figures who conspired to bring down her government, moaned on X that "the establishment attacks on me are getting more and more deranged." One internet wag asked: "How do I order zero copies please?" Take our advice: That's the right amount to order.